To date, or not to date

My life has been rather insane lately, in case you couldn't tell by the lack of postings. I moved out of my house where I lived with four children and felt like part of a family and into an apartment on the other side of town with my sister. My student loans came due, and I realized that with rent and those student loans, I absolutely had to have another job, I could no longer wait to get another one. Well, after looking all summer for a full time teaching job, I finally came to the conclusion that that probably wasn't going to happen. So I started looking for another part time position. I finally found one; the only draw back is that it is a night job. I teach English online, mostly to Koreans. During their daylight hours, which happen to be the middle of the night here. So I basically work and sleep. And work and sleep some more.  The good news is that I love every one of my four jobs. I really enjoy all of them. However, whenever I tell someone that I am working four jobs, they ask "Not much time left for dating, is there?" And then I adjust the truth to say that there is a little time. Which there is, but I don't really want to spend my free time dating.

Truth be told, I'm tired of dating. REALLY tired. I made a dedicated effort to do so this last year. I went on 8 dates in three weeks in April. I consistently try to say yes when a guy asks me out. But (I figured out this morning) I am just burnt out on dating. I've worked really hard to find someone who likes me and I like them. I'm not really that picky, especially since most of the men where I live actually fit my standards. But its just not in the cards at this point. And I know its cliché, but maybe its not me. I worked all year dating, I tried really hard to go out with lots of different guys, I tried to give guys a fair chance, but nothing has worked out. And I'm tired of it. I have to pay off my student loans. I'd like to pay off my credit card. And since I can't control boys, I can at least control myself. So, yes, I work so much there is very little time for boys. But I'm happy that I'm busy and I feel better knowing that I am getting myself out of debt. Because if I were to wait for a boy, I would just be getting further into debt. I don't think that's something the Lord wants. And I'm sure that if the Lord meant me to be married by this point, something would have happened. Its not like I don't have the "I would really like to be married soon" conversation with the Lord EVERY NIGHT. So if you think you have the ear of the Lord and he'll listen to you, feel free to talk to him about it. But as for me, I have to live my life and I am just burnt out on dating.

President Faust has said that there is a time for us to do everything we want to do, just not all at the same time. And what I am doing right now if paying off my debt. And then, when I'm not so burnt out on dating, I'll try again. But now is not the time.

Constitution

Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.

John Adams (1735-1826) Second President of the USA.


I found this quote the other day and quite liked it. I would have to say that the people of the United States are falling away from being 'moral and religious people'. While the vast majority of people still believe in a god, I don't know that as a whole, we can be considered such. An interesting thought.

A thought

I have been having a bit of a struggle lately with life. I feel sometimes like I can't get anywhere. I can't find a job, I rent a room (don't even have my own space) and boys are pretty much in the negative numbers.  I get depressed quite often, something I am working on changing. But I was reading Elder Hallstrom's talk from this last conference and he says "Throughout the world and among the membership of the Church, there is great joy and great pain. Both are part of the plan. Without one, we cannot know the other" (Ensign, May 2010 p79). So even though I feel great pain and suffering (which I probably blow out of proportion, but aren't our trials suited to us to be trials for us, not for others?), if I did not know that pain, I wouldn't appreciate the great joy that is in store.

So now, I just need to be patient and know that however exquisite my pains, my joy will be just as exquisite and sweet.

Pacific Northwest

I taught Summer School this last summer and partway through I realized I was burnt out and needed a real vacation. So I flew out to the great PNW to visit Scully. I only spent three days out there, which probably wasn't enough, but I had a fabulous time and the weather was perfect. I only remembered my camera one day when we went to a state park where there were tide pools. It was wonderful. I had a great time.

A little crab. These little guys were all over the place.

One, lonely starfish

Not lonely starfish. In a crevice

Anenomes out of the water

Anemones  in the water

Myself and Scully

Reminds me of home

In the moss on a rock

Looking out over the tide pools

A collection of starfish

Another forest path

Scully, looking out over the ocean

This is where I saw a sea otter run for cover. I wasn't fast enough with the camera though

Part of the beach

We went to a park later in the day and just walked around. It reminded me of all the hikes I took growing up. Hiking amongst the trees is certainly cooler than over the rocks, which is what the hiking is like here.

Park bridge

Some of the falls we saw

I studied this phenomenon in high school. The old, dead tree gives nourishment to the new living tree.

Centipede. We used to have these on our property.

More falls.

It really was a great vacation. Recharged my battery. Thanks Scully, for letting me visit!

Independence Day

We camped out for the Parade on the 4th of July. I went with my landlady's family and one of their family friends.Here are the girls playing.

Playing with glow sticks and jewelry as it gets dark.

Yes, I can blow up my air mattress all by myself. I have a great set of lungs. I blame playing the flute for years.

Small Ham

Here is Small Ham after playing outside. He's just a little dirty. Just a little.

This is Small Ham at the 4th of July Parade.

The kids

I am having a hard time getting on and posting things. So here are some pictures of the people in my life.

I babysit a lot. This is what happens sometimes with the kids.

We're in the air!!

Let me help you dress up!

Kids in all their craziness

Kids after bored and I made the mistake of laughing at them.

This was their final dress up of the night. I was told I was never allowed to let these pictures get to their parents.

Swimming and tap

I walked in one day and Small Ham was dressed up in his Swim ring and tap shoes. I'm not sure how those go together, but he sure thought they did.