Roommate Drama

The last two roommates I've had I have loved like crazy, but after about 2 years, I just wanted them to move out. I've been a bit concerned that this has happened, but after some thought, I've figured out what it is. Neither of them speak my love language. My love language is acts of service. Mostly for me (at least at this point) this means cleaning up the house. Neither of my last 2 roommates have cared one whit for the state of the house. Occasionally they'll clean their room, and they'll do some isolated chores, but not to the extent that fulfills my need for love. You have to get the dishes before they become a disaster, replace the toilet paper roll if you use it up, or clean your mail off the table. Maybe part of the problem is that I see it as a problem before they do, and that's ok. I just really want someone around who is willing to show me I'm loved in the way I need. My last roommate was my sister and I told her straight up that my love language was acts of service. She looked me in the eye and said she couldn't speak it or receive it. I thought that was a bit harsh considering she's a therapist by trade. She was a physical touch person. Do you know how hard it is to give physical touch to someone you don't feel love from? My current roommate is a quality time person. The introvert in my doesn't love that, especially since she doesn't get home until about a half an hour before bed and then wants to talk for an hour when I'm worn out from the day and am shutting down.
It probably is my fault that my roommate doesn't understand. I have a hard time coming right out and telling people that what I really need from them is to keep the house clean. I shouldn't have to be my roommate's mother, we are adults after all, right? But I should be less passive aggressive and find a way to tell them without being rude. That will have to be something I work on.
Sadly, (or happily, depending on how you look at it) my roommate will be moving out in about a month. While it's nice to be alone for a bit, my need for love won't diminish. And I really need someone emotionally, even if I can survive financially without a roommate. And then I'll run into this problem all over again. But I really don't want to live alone.

An Exercise in Free Speech

For the most part, I like to consider myself moderate politically. However, I am very strong in my religious beliefs. The recent Supreme Court ruling to me was a disappointment. But I understand that it is what the law of the land has decided and I live in the land and need to abide by that law. However, I still support traditional marriage. I think it is the best way to raise a family and that traditional marriage stabilizes families and society.
Now I further understand that this is my opinion, and other people do not believe the same things I do. I grew up understanding that I believe differently from other people because my religion is a super small percentage in the nation, let alone the world. (This site says we are less than 2% of the US). My parents taught me that even though I don't believe the same things other believe, or agree with them, that I can still be respectful and understanding. I can see their viewpoint and not have to agree with it. I like this quote by Rick Warren:

“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”

Which bring me to the present. I posted something on Facebook about traditional marriage. I feel that my voice was not being heard and I felt it necessary to take a stand. I tend to not say anything because most things posted on Facebook do not have references. They do not cite the research that has been done, or there simply hasn't been any done. I believe both sides struggle with this. (Both sides in most debates that take place on social media) Also, I feel that most of what is said is simply mudslinging and there really isn't any way to prove what you are saying, you are just name calling to make the other person look bad. (and the only way to sling mud is to get some on yourself, kinda defeats the purpose if you ask me). The truth is, I think that people who support traditional marriage are arguing a different point than those who support gay marriage and visa versa. We can never come to a consensus when we define things differently. I think this is the real problem. Unfortunately, what I posted did not have references, which is one of the reasons I haven't posted anything up to this point. But I did, because I still feel strongly about this point. 

I had a friend who took real offense to this. She went on at length at how everything in the video was wrong and how uneducated an opinion it was and was overall very derogatory towards my opinion. I had known I would get a reaction, but I didn't expect it to be so completely dismissive of mine. For a group that preaches tolerance, they sure aren't tolerant if you believe differently than they.

And truth be told, I knew this about their culture. But I have found that people are rarely the stereotype. So I thought that this attitude would have been had by the nebulous "other gay supporters", not from my friend. I was really disappointed that we couldn't respectfully disagree. I would have been the first to admit that there were flaws with the video that I posted and that there are problems with our society that need to be fixed, even be legislation. But I don't believe we have to be disrespectful and rude to do so. We can still recognize someone else's opinion even if we think it is wrong. 

What really pushed me over the edge was that she posted on her own page how terrible it was that people are hiding this bigotry behind the word "opinion" and that it isn't actually an opinion. In one post, she totally invalidated my whole lifestyle and view. And the bigger problem is that she is trying to 'educate' me as to why my (not) opinion is wrong. I have never found that the way to convert someone to your way of thinking is to yell at them that they are wrong. That tends to make them hold to their beliefs even more steadfastly. She said she was trying to cut out the bad like a piece of mold on a piece of cheese. I believe the scripture says first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. I have always believed we should focus on our own failings first. How can I judge someone else's character when I am totally biased by my own?

I believe we can all be compassionate. We can understand each other without compromising our own beliefs. Why can't we sit down together and find a solution that everyone can agree on? Why do people insist on shoving their beliefs down someone else's throats? Why can't I love you and disagree with your lifestyle? I offer you that consideration, please extend the same courtesy to me. 

How do you find meaning in life?

When I realized the Olympics were right around the corner, I realized I haven't written on my blog for almost 2 years, since the last Olympics. Good news is that means that I have been busy having a life.

Unfortunately, I'm at a place in my life where I am struggling to find meaning. I work all day, and go to church on Sunday, fulfill my calling and try to squeeze in time for exercise. But every once in a while, I end up with a couple hours to myself and no idea how to fill them. For someone whose mother used to say "only boring people get bored," I find myself in a difficult place. In those moments I wonder why. What good is my life, what am I doing to make my life worth living? Am I making a worthwhile contribution to the people around me?

I know I need to have some unstructured time in my life. But what do you do with that when you've got it? How do you make it feel like it is constructive time? In my busy moments, I think, if I just had some free time to do whatever I want, but then when I get it, I have no idea what to do with it.

Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Reflections

Today, I went back and basically re-read my entire blog. An interesting experience, let me tell you. There are definitely some things that I've left out, but I suppose that's ok. I realized that most of my posts are me venting/complaining because I just don't have anywhere else to say those things. So I thought I'd tell you the awesomeness that is my life right now.

I currently work full time and LOVE my job! Next year, I will FINALLY! be on salary and I'm teaching both ballroom and drama. I work with some of the most amazing and supportive teachers. I own my own home and my car is paid off. My mom gave me a dog last week, so I have a house and a dog, plus I'm working on paying off my debts. Not only that, but I don't have to get another job this summer! I managed to save enough and have enough small jobs I'm already committed to that I don't have to do anything else. I'm teaching summer school and working for my former Land Lady. So I get to relax and prep for the upcoming school year.

I also really like my ward. I feel much more comfortable there, even though many of my friends have moved out with the end of the school year. In my last ward, I felt like I wasn't going to be there for long, but this one feels like home. Considering I'll be here for at least 3 years.

There are a couple of other good things going on also that contribute to a general feeling of well-being, but are rather inconsequential as of the moment.

All in all, the Lord takes care of me, and for that, I am so grateful. Its good to see the sunshine after the rain.

There shall not be room enough to receive it

I've come to the realization lately that the Lord takes very good care of me. I have struggled with my job and my life in the past few years. I haven't had a "real" job, I've worked a plethora (that means excess) of jobs in order to make ends meet, I'm still in debt from school and when I did a study abroad and most of the time, I really can't see a way out of the financial burden (or the singleness) or my life. After a year of working nights and days, I managed to get all my hours consolidated into one job. Then, the opportunity came along to purchase a home, something I've wanted to do since I moved back from California. My mortgage was less than rent, which made it a no brainer. I've been working hard since then to make a good impression and now I should have a salaried job next year! While this won't solve all my problems, it will make life easier. One really nice thing will be benefits. I will be able to go back to the doctor and the dentist and I won't pay for my insurance myself! This point has just really made me look back at my life and helped me realize that the Lord really does have a plan and that He makes things happen in my life.

There are a number of other smaller things that have happened also that make me realize this. I spent several hundred dollars getting my car taken care of this last weekend, as well as driving down to see my sister in AZ for Spring Break, but somehow, through a multitude of minor miracles, I am still within budget this month.

Also, I had somewhat of a falling out with a friend that was very dear to me, the crux came last summer. But after some time, things seem to be healing themselves. I got a hug the last time I stopped by to take care of something. It meant a lot to me to be rebuilding those bridges.

There are so many pieces to put together in our lives. I know I certainly am not the one to put most of them in place. Yesterday really opened my eyes to how much the Lord directs my life. I'm glad he's in charge because I'm pretty sure I would mess things up. It was also funny to me that when I told my mom and my sister that the Lord takes care of me, they both said they knew that. I am obviously the blind one. I'm really grateful I get little glimpses of His plan and what he's doing. It's a good feeling.

Reflections and Resolutions

With the new year comes many things. Foremost among these are reflections and resolutions. As I reflect upon this last year, I must say its been pretty good. I started out with 5 jobs last year, working pretty much all hours of the day and night. The good news is I was able to pay all my bills. I finished the three classes I needed to get the Reading Endorsement in Utah and I was definitely not bored. The start of the new school year found me working full time at the school, which allowed me to quit all but one of my other jobs. Fortunately the last job is not stressful at all and brings in needed extra income. The new school year also brought me the opportunity to purchase my own home, for which I am grateful every day. So there are many good things that came out of last year. This year is looking pretty good, as my bills are manageable and hopefully next school year will find me getting paid salary.

As I think about resolutions, I have to say I have mixed feelings about these. I am the kind of person that when I decide to do something, I don't want to wait until some arbitrary date to accomplish it. I choose to make a change right then. Someone wise once said that if you feel the need to change and don't do it within the next 24/36/48 (can't remember the exact number, but it was at least 24 and no more than 48) hours, you won't change. So I have tried to make the change quickly. This has caused me to relax more so that I'm not as stressed out, to get up to work out in the morning and to find time for the temple regularly. So I'm not really much for New Year's Resolutions. I try to accomplish things as quickly as possible, as opposed to waiting for the New Year.

Having said that, I do have a resolution that has come up at this time and I feel this is the perfect time to institute it. I normally read my scriptures straight through. I read from the beginning to the end. Its an easy fall back. I figure if I have a question or a thought, then I'll study that, but generally I just am too lazy to actually do that. So this year, I am going to work on studying my scriptures by topic. I have struggled a little trying to decide how to decide what topic to study, but I have decided that if I hit a wall on what I should be studying, I can always go to the Conference Ensign and I'm sure the General Authorities will be able to help. I am also hoping that this will help my scripture study be more meaningful. (Especially since I've read the standard works several times from beginning to end. And by several, I mean more than 5. Book of Mormon I've read at least twice every year. So time for something new)

I do have other goals, but many of them are long term, as in longer than a year. As I think of them, I'll try to share, but this is what I've got for now.

Good luck to me!

The Difference

I've been thinking about marriage lately. Specifically eternal marriage. People have commented that I just want to get married and it doesn't seem to matter who I'm with, so it never feels to them like they are someone special. However, I have realized there is a difference between wanting to get married and wanting an eternal marriage. Wanting to get married can mean that you just don't want to be alone anymore, that you are afraid that you'll never find someone else, that you are sexually frustrated or any number of other things. However, when you want an eternal marriage, you are looking for a relationship that will last forever, one that upholds and honors sacred covenants you have made to each other and to the Lord. You are looking for someone to serve for the rest of eternity, someone who will help you become less selfish and for someone with with to enjoy the wonderful blessings of family and children. An eternal marriage is not entered into lightly. It is entered into with faith. A marriage because you just want to get married is entered into because of fear and lack of self control.

I have seen close family members get married just because they want to get married. I do not feel that they chose wisely in this case (though I choose to support them in their path). I think that they lost sight of the big picture, what eternity really means.

My choice is to wait for an eternal marriage. I don't want to get married just to get married, though the two may look similar to someone on the outside. I want to get married for the right reasons and to find the joy that I see in the wonderful marriages around me.

What I'm really looking for

So in response to my last post, I tried to define what a great guy is. As I was trying to put that into words, I wrote that "He's one of those people you love to be around because you always feel uplifted in his presence. "  As I sat there looking at those words, I realized, that's it. That's what I'm really looking for. That's why some of these guys are really nice guys, but I just can't like them. I don't feel uplifted or edified by them. That's one of the reasons I hung out with FDP for so long, I always felt better about myself and about life when I was around him, and not because his life sucked. 


That's a hard thing to find. At least I can put a name to it now, instead of some vague feeling and me saying "I just don't think I like him"

Positive and Negative

I'm at one of those points where I am so frustrated. I have been taking a break from dating. I was planning on going back to making an effort in June, a full year from when I decided I was done with dating, but the last week, I've been getting the feeling that faith is a principle of action. And since I have faith that I will get married, I feel like I should start making an effort again. I'm just not sure how what exactly that action is.

In the meantime, I have been going out with guys if they actually ask me out. The latest guy is a convert of about 2 years and moved here from Arkansas to go to BYU. First we just went to dinner because it was a blind date. Then we went up to the Conference Center for the Sunday morning session of Conference and we just went to the BYU Ballroom Dance Concert. I don't really like the way he offers me his arm. Weird, I know, and not a deal breaker, but its a little weird to take a guy's arm and then he still holds it away from him. That doesn't really help me at all because my hand slides around. He needs to reconnect his arm to his ribcage so that I feel like he's taking care of me, not just looking like it. And he sent a text message in the middle of the show tonight. Kinda bugs. That on top of him making posts on Facebook during Conference. When President Uchtdorf said some of you have already sent a text or notification that its been 10 minutes and he hasn't talked about aviation, that was Convert!! I really liked that Pres. Uchtdorf then said there was a time for everything, and that wasn't the time to be on FB.

Of course, then I feel bad because the latest First Presidency message says that you find what you are looking for; if you look for the good, you will find the good, and if you look for the bad, you will find that too. Sadly, judging from what I think about Convert, I think I've been looking for the bad. Which isn't promising. I need to start looking for the good on dates. Because there will always be something wrong. Might as well find something you like. I do think, however, that if we keeping doing things, this relationship is going to take a long time to get off the ground.

I am still frustrated with dating. I know so many great guys, but I don't feel like I date any great guys. It could be all in my perspective. I guess I'll be working on that.

To date, or not to date

My life has been rather insane lately, in case you couldn't tell by the lack of postings. I moved out of my house where I lived with four children and felt like part of a family and into an apartment on the other side of town with my sister. My student loans came due, and I realized that with rent and those student loans, I absolutely had to have another job, I could no longer wait to get another one. Well, after looking all summer for a full time teaching job, I finally came to the conclusion that that probably wasn't going to happen. So I started looking for another part time position. I finally found one; the only draw back is that it is a night job. I teach English online, mostly to Koreans. During their daylight hours, which happen to be the middle of the night here. So I basically work and sleep. And work and sleep some more.  The good news is that I love every one of my four jobs. I really enjoy all of them. However, whenever I tell someone that I am working four jobs, they ask "Not much time left for dating, is there?" And then I adjust the truth to say that there is a little time. Which there is, but I don't really want to spend my free time dating.

Truth be told, I'm tired of dating. REALLY tired. I made a dedicated effort to do so this last year. I went on 8 dates in three weeks in April. I consistently try to say yes when a guy asks me out. But (I figured out this morning) I am just burnt out on dating. I've worked really hard to find someone who likes me and I like them. I'm not really that picky, especially since most of the men where I live actually fit my standards. But its just not in the cards at this point. And I know its cliché, but maybe its not me. I worked all year dating, I tried really hard to go out with lots of different guys, I tried to give guys a fair chance, but nothing has worked out. And I'm tired of it. I have to pay off my student loans. I'd like to pay off my credit card. And since I can't control boys, I can at least control myself. So, yes, I work so much there is very little time for boys. But I'm happy that I'm busy and I feel better knowing that I am getting myself out of debt. Because if I were to wait for a boy, I would just be getting further into debt. I don't think that's something the Lord wants. And I'm sure that if the Lord meant me to be married by this point, something would have happened. Its not like I don't have the "I would really like to be married soon" conversation with the Lord EVERY NIGHT. So if you think you have the ear of the Lord and he'll listen to you, feel free to talk to him about it. But as for me, I have to live my life and I am just burnt out on dating.

President Faust has said that there is a time for us to do everything we want to do, just not all at the same time. And what I am doing right now if paying off my debt. And then, when I'm not so burnt out on dating, I'll try again. But now is not the time.

More on Marriage

I was talking to my friend again this week and she again commented on how some guys have told her that they just wish that I would stop wanted to get married so badly and then guys would flock to me.

I've been thinking about that for a while and I thought, I can't stop wanting to get married. That's like asking me to stop wanting to progress, or to stop wanting exaltation. It's just not going to happen. Marriage in my mind is explicitly linked to exaltation. I've spent too much time in the temple to think otherwise. I cannot stop wanting marriage. It is a commandment! Stop wanting to follow commandments? Really? Is that what you're asking me to do?

And further, I don't think I want guys to flock to me. I just want one really good one. I don't need lots of them. Because most of them aren't what I'm looking for. And I get tired of sorting through the . . . not so good ones. I'm past the point where I want lots of guys around me.

I think I'll stick with the Lord's advice. Chill out. Still a struggle, but much easier to follow. And reasonable too.

Genesis

I've started reading the Old Testament in the last few weeks and I am struck by how often the people in it mess up and still the Lord blesses them. Over and over again I see how the people aren't perfect and how they don't do exactly what the Lord asks them to do. They aren't perfect, and yet the Lord still blesses them. (I haven't even gotten past all of Jacob's sons being born by the way). I think this is a lesson I need to learn, because I continue to get the same impression every time I read. These people were not perfect, they messed up, they didn't do exactly as the Lord asked them, though they were trying and communicated with Him. However, the Lord still blessed them.

I think maybe I expect too much of myself. I expect to be perfect and I get down on myself when I am not. But the Lord still loves me and can make my mistakes into a beautiful life. But I have to LET Him bless me. I think I am not doing that right now because I don't believe I should be blessed because of all the mistakes I have made, because I know that I don't follow him exactly.

Maybe I need to chill out a little.

I recently read an article about marriage myths and this one in particular struck me:

Marriage Myth: If there’s no spark, you’re doomed.
Many married couples understand intellectually that they won’t always experience that I’ve-been-drugged-by-love feeling in a long-term relationship. “But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and seek something new,” says Bartlein. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. The mistake here is to believe that you can live forever on fireworks, or even just love, alone.

I think perhaps because I've had a relationship that started out with commitment, of sorts, and the trust grew and then love came out of it. Sadly for me, it was a little one-sided, so nothing ever went anywhere, but it was a great relationship. I felt safe in it, the good safe. I think that our society has placed too much stock in the "fireworks" department, and the commitment and trust that should happen in relationships doesn't. It makes me a little sad because making that kind of commitment and keeping it creates one of the best relationships on the planet.

Not that I would actually know, but just a thought.

Shattered

That's what happened to my self image last night talking to a friend. In a completely non-judgmental way, she told me that I flirt with everyone and guys can't tell if I'm flirting because I like them or because I just want to get married, because guys can tell I want to get married.

I have several thoughts on this and I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. Here's my little pride cycle.

One, I can't really help flirting. I get it from my mom and its part of who I am. I can't completely change myself and still feel like I'm not being fake. I believe that we should do like Shakespeare said "To thine own self be true". On the flip-side, I probably can tone things down a little and still be myself.

Two, why is it a bad thing to want to get married? Almost everyone wants to, even if they don't admit it. We're SUPPOSED to. Its part of The Plan. We're structured to want and need other people. So why is it a bad thing when people are comfortable being honest with themselves about what they want? On the flip-side, it may come across as being desperate.

Three, sometimes I feel that I am completely different from everyone I know. I feel like I'm living in a world of people who see things in a totally different way than I do. My friend was telling me the opinions of some of the guys we both know and some of the things they've said, and I just wonder how different we all are, but think we are the same. How many miscommunications come out of us thinking that we are the same, but have really different ways of thinking about the world. It sometimes makes me feel really alone and completely misunderstood.

Fourth, sometimes it becomes very clear that I don't totally understand myself. There are still things I discover that I didn't know where there and I don't know how to deal with. Such is the struggle of life, I presume.

In dealing with this, I realize that my friend's point of view is just one side and I need to take it with a grain of salt. I plan on taking what she said into consideration and adjust accordingly, but not completely. She is a different person than I am and I still have to be myself. But course corrections are part of the journey, and this may be one I need to change that one degree.

My one word of advice is this, when you start to ask the Lord to show you your flaws so that you can become a better person, be prepared for your pride to take a hit. And its going to be hard and hurt. The good news is you'll be a better person on the other side, if you learn from the experience.

Laws and agency

I was thinking today about some topics of conversation that are deeper. Deeper than what's on tv, anyway. Which brought to my mind the current health care reform. Now to start off with, this post is not about health care reform. And I don't really know enough about it to have a strong opinion one way or another. However, its brings up the idea that the government is exerting more and more control over our lives. This is something I am opposed to. The reason is this: the government seems to feel the need to create more and more laws. Each succeeding president, or group of elected officials seems to feel that in order to be successful, they need to create some important law for the rest of us to abide by. (Why is this anyway?) The problem with this is that as the government exerts more control, the people are left with fewer choices. As we have fewer choices, we do not gain the experience we need to make wise choices. Especially when the consequences of our actions are removed (as American society loves to act without consequences). This makes us a weak people. Like the Israelites who were lead out of Egypt, they were slaves before and had not learned how to make wise choices. That is why they built the golden calf, they hadn't learned how to make wise choices. If we allow people to limit our choices, we are going to create a weak society who cannot make wise choices because they lack the opportunity to develop that skill.

As a respected leader once said “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” (Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 3:54.) This creates a strong people. The increase of government control as our nation has grown will only lead to our eventual downfall because we will be unable to make wise choices without someone there to dictate what to do. Oh, that we could govern ourselves instead of expecting the government to do it for us.

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;



Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,



And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.



I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

--Robert Frost

Princesses

One of the fads lately has been 'princesses'. Everything is princesses. In pink. With lots of fluff. And every little girl should be a princess, she deserves it.

I've never really liked this movement. At all. And I finally figured out why.

The princesses I grew up with actually DID SOMETHING. They were responsible and fought for the rights of their people. I figured this out when I found She-Ra on Hulu and started watching it. Adora was She-Ra, the Princess of Power. She chose to not go back to her family so that she could fight the forces of evil that she helped establish. She felt a sense of responsibility and followed through.
Let's take another example. Princess Leia. To quote a list I once found, she's an ambassador, a freedom fighter and Jedi material. And she can fight. She opposed the evil Empire and braved Jabba the Hutt. I mean, come on!!

These are the princesses I grew up with. They fought evil. They took responsibility. And they didn't wear pink. This is why I feel the princesses of today do such a disservice to the girls of today. The idea perpetuated is that if you're a princess, you get what you want. My princesses fought for what is right. Girls of today need better role models to look up to. Role models who take responsibility.

I think I like my princesses better.

Chivalry

I found this article while browsing around online today (while I should have been getting my classroom ready) and thought I'd share. I like the point he makes and for any guys out there reading this, holy cow, chivalry will make a place for you in my heart. No joke.

The Challenge of Life

It was intended that life be a challenge, not so that you would fail, but that you might succeed through overcoming.

Richard G. Scott. Finding Peace, Happiness and Joy pgs 248-9

You know you're a BYU Ballroom Dancer if . . .

(Standard)
. . . your head feels more comfortable positioned out and slightly to the left.
. . . you’ve ever heard Betsy say, “reach for the chocolate!”
. . . you have to sleep on your stomach with your head facing right just to make sure you don’t get lopsided.
. . . you’ve ever danced using a Cougar Eat tray as a frame aid.
. . . Kyrstin has made you do at least three different types of sit ups for no apparent reason. (Don't worry, you'll figure out what they're for later)
. . . your angry face is now your “Tango” face
. . . you’ve ever heard the Christmas tree analogy for correct framework in dance position.
. . . it feels weird NOT to have someone attached to your right rib.
. . . you've become very aware of which parts of your feet you use: ball, heel, toe, inside edge of the foot, etc.
. . . people sometimes confuse you for a business student.
. . . you know body flight has nothing to do with hopping and flapping your arms.
. . . it sometimes feels like your shoulders have fused to your torso.
. . . you can rotated you’re upper body to obscene angles and doing so feels completely natural.
. . . you not only know the difference between CBM and CBMP, you know exactly what the acronyms stand for.
. . . you know that you can't just waltz your way into heaven. Viennese is the required dance.
. . . you've spent entire class sessions just on shaping.
. . . You've gotten used to stopping at random and uncomfortable positions so that the professor can check your framework, but you've never really learned how to start back up again without any momentum.
. . . you think Lee is so relaxed he's practically horizontal.
. . . (men) you can't remember the last time you wore a T-shirt on a week day, and you constantly carry a tie in your bag, just in case.
. . . you know there's nothing hotter than a man in a tail suit. (in more ways than one)

(American)
. . . straightening your legs completely is heresy.
. . . your angry face is now your “Tango” face.
. . . slouching is now uncomfortable under most circumstances.
. . . the word “routine” is almost completely foreign to you.
. . . you’ve seriously considered seeing your doctor for whiplash after dancing a particularly energetic tango.
. . . people are convinced your legs and hips are made out of rubber when you dance the Cha Cha.
. . . you show 180 students how to do cuban action by pointing to the calluses on your feet.
. . . you’ve stolen at least three or four elements from standard or latin dancing and incorporated it into your dancing style.
. . . you know how to do body rolls and you’re not afraid to use them!
. . . you can’t remember the last time you did a box step in anything.
. . . you know about sway but you never really use it.
. . . the level of coolness for a variation is directly proportional to how insane you have to be in order to attempt it.
. . . the term MAC is not just a reference to an awesome computer.
. . . you either avoid blues swing like the plague or it has become one of your guilty pleasures.
. . . you are obsessed with West Coast Swing or Lindy Hop.
. . . you have no discernible sense of shame.

(Latin)
. . . you point your toes at the slightest provocation.
. . . you feet bend in ways they were never meant to bend in originally.
. . . your Rumba walk and your normal walk are practically indistinguishable.
. . . the junk in your trunk has a mind of its own.
. . . everything comes out sultry even when you don’t mean it to be.
. . . your angry face is now your “Paso” face.
. . . you’ve become accustomed to hearing Brent shout “Go Cougars!” at random intervals.
. . . you associate a cell phone ringing with the phrases “chocolate chip, extra salt, under baked."
. . . you know that the Rumba is the dance of love, and sometimes love hurts.
. . . you count to four by starting on two and ending on one.
. . . you consistently get more action on the dance floor than the rest of your private life combined.
. . . (ladies) you’re absolutely horrified that Brent can dance your part better than you can.
. . . (ladies) your convinces that the dresses some professionals wear are held up solely by super glue and fate.
. . . (ladies) you go through heel caps like candy.
. . . (ladies) you know Brent's exact procedure for slicking your bun so that other dancers could use it as a mirror.
. . . (men) you constantly have to imagine that you’re not a white guy.
. . . (men) you can move your hips better than most non-dancer ladies.
. . . (men) you know that according to Brent, Slavik is the quintessential example of how Latin men should move.
. . . (men) you've ever participated in a competition where ties are absolutely forbidden and the first three buttons on your shirt are considered optional.
. . . (men) you can wear pastels, spangles, sequins, and rhinestones AND still feel like a man.
. . . (men) you not only empathize with but in fact share some women's feelings and experiences regarding high heels.
. . . sickling your feet is punishable by death.

(General)
. . . you're easily identified at great distances by the little black bag.
. . . you address all ballroom professors by their first name and know exactly what their preferred dance style is.
. . . you know there is a HUGE difference between an 89 and a 90 on test scores.
. . . you have absolutely no issues with personal space.
. . . the only way someone could invade your personal bubble is if they stabbed your with something.
. . . you have at least one or two scars from incidents where you and a woman in heels disagreed on certain subtle points of floor craft.
. . . ballroom dance IS your social life, and non dancers have a difficult time grasping this concept.
. . . the first day of class you know the difference between a standard shoe and a latin shoe.
. . . you’ve gone through your entire iTunes library looking for danceable music.
. . . you know what dance would fit to a song before you even know the name of the song.
. . . your feet have molded to fit your dance shoes.
. . . you physically cringe at the prospect of searching for a new competition partner.
. . . you know that dance labs are for practicing floor craft, not traveling.
. . . you wish the slow pokes would stay on the inside like they're supposed to.
. . . you can beat most cars in your commute from the RB to the Wilk.
. . . you schedule coaching sessions or practice times when any sane individual would be asleep.
. . . you've lost track of the number of times you've taken your pants off in public. Usually you either had latin pants underneath or a dance skirt over the top, but that's beside the point.
. . . (ladies) you’ve purchased five bottles of hair spray just for Dancesport.
. . . round is not a shape and heat has nothing to do with temperature.
. . . (ladies) you own at least 15 pairs of beige, toast, or caramel fishnets.
. . . (ladies) walking around campus with your hair in a bun, wearing a latin or standard skirt, sandals, and a jacket is a perfectly acceptable fashion statement.
. . . (men) at a dance you select partners based on the type of shoes they're wearing. Sandals / open heeled shoes = No thank you. Standard shoes / Latin Sandals = Yes, please. Worn character shoes = Oh baby, oh baby!!!
. . . you gauge the amount of fun you had at a dance by the number of sore muscle groups or numb toes you have the next day.
. . . you have two performance wardrobes: one thats completely devoid of sequins, rhinestones, feathers, or shear fabric; and the real one.
. . . you idolize people with really weird and outlandish names.
. . . you go through at least three bottles of home tanner before a competition.
. . . unlike people who gain their knowledge of dancing from reality TV, you actually know the differences between Standard, Latin, and American.
. . . the last time you did something incredibly damaging to your personal reputation your explanation included the phrase, "I'm a ballroom dancer!"
. . . you own at least one pair of shoes that look like they've been at the dangerous end of a firing range.
. . . you don't do your laundry as much as normal people, because you have to wear the same pants/skirt tomorrow anyway.
. . . you've ever used your shoe bag as a makeshift towel.
. . . you practically live in the RB. That includes everything from shaving, showering, and brushing your teeth to doing makeup and hair with the full length mirrors on the ballroom walls (if you happen to be a lady). The only thing you haven't done is stashed a bed somewhere.
. . . you honestly can't name a public area of the RB or Wilk you haven't taken a nap in. (excluding the rest rooms, because that's just nasty)
. . . you eat more food from the RB vending machines than at home.
. . . you only watch "dancing with the stars" or "So you think you can dance" because you're hoping to come across a few interesting variations you might be able to steal.
. . . everything you own smells like feet. EVERYTHING!
. . . you've had a sudden and disconcerting realization that thinking only gets you into trouble.
. . . the rest of the world is dead to you during the weekend of Dance Sport.
. . . you associate the term "medals" with long hours of practice, sweat, blood, tears, and a feeling of unnamed dread.
. . . it hurts to watch the 100 level students.





No matter how many times I read this, it still makes me laugh.