Rest and Relaxation

Now that I have time to write a post, I have nothing to say. Nothing is interesting in my life at the moment. I went home for Christmas, got to spend time with my family. I think I am doing better on that front. I used to just go home for Christmas for two days, I'm managing a week now. Of course, the fact that I've found several old friends on Facebook and now get to visit them does help quite a bit. So I was able to see some old friends, and made it out to visit a friend about an hour away who is taking care of her mom.

I've come to the conclusion of late that I am a selfish person and I need to get out and serve people more. Since I haven't had as many things going on in the last week, I've come to see that there are people who need me to visit and support them. I visited with a friend who is struggling with some things in her marriage and realized that I should be there to support her. My sister needs support, she gets bored staying home with a baby all day. And it meant a lot to the friend I visited over Christmas that I came. I've been so focused lately on myself and my problems that I haven't reached out to anyone else and I need to.

In further news, the problem that I've been focusing on is my relationship with men. Which is going nowhere, so I think its time to focus on some other things. I'm about done with FDP, he'll have to change some things before anything happens and I'm not seeing that happen anytime soon.

So on to a less selfish me! Let's see how long that resolution lasts.

More of the same

Well, I haven't been here in a while. Nothing much to report, just taking 12 credits and working three jobs. That keeps me pretty busy, along with my 8 hours a week at the temple.

Nothing has changed with FDP either. Still just friends. I did go to his house for Thanksgiving. Nothing to report there. He has a big family, and he's the youngest, so there were lots of nieces and nephews running around. I was thinking about cutting all lines of communication with him, but the Lord didn't think that was a good idea, so I'm sure I'll be talking to him sometime. But I'm still mad about it, so it might not be for a while. Yeah, that was a major run in for my pride, guess I need to work on humility.

Well, I have two ten page papers due next week, so I should probably be doing that instead of updating my blog. But for anyone who actually reads this, there is my life at the beginning of December.

Up and Running!!

We finally got internet again! Yay!!! And I now have wireless, so I am back to using my own computer!! I suppose that means I'll get back to posting pics too. . . . Eventually.

Not that much has changed, just little stuff going on. I am tired of my homework, but still plugging away. I just sent off my Graduation Requirement Check (only 6 months late) so hopefully that will go well. Working on getting dance routines for my middle schoolers and getting them ready for competition. And seriously wondering if FDP is ever going to make a serious move. Sometimes I just want to shake him and ask if he has any idea what our relationship really looks like. Because what it looks like and what he says it is are two totally different things. Two of his other dance partners have talked to me and asked why we weren't dating, girls who I really only have contact with through him. And not in the, "I want to see if I can date him if you're not" way, but the, "you guys are best friends, why is there nothing going on?" way. Our relationship is always hard to read, because such small things happen, I'm not sure if I should count it as moving forward, or just leave it because they are so small, does he even realize its different? But I'd like to think we're making marginal progress.

Anyway, obviously I think about it a lot. The good news is, I know he overanalyzes things too. So its not just me.

Without Internet

My life has been crazy the last couple weeks (I know, story of my life, right?). We moved over Fall Break, which caused me to get behind on my homework, so I spent the next week trying to catch up. Whenever I think I'm caught up, then I have to move on to the next assignment. I feel like it never slows down.

So because we moved, I don't have internet. It hasn't moved to the new house yet. Actually, my landlady changed companies (don't make her mad, its not a good thing) and it was supposed to be here yesterday. But the old company had us moving to the wrong address, so for some unknown reason (to us at least) it is supposed to take another week. Let me tell you how well that works for my online classes!!!! It doesn't, in case you were wondering.

I also took my middle schoolers to a ballroom competition last weekend. It was fun, and they had a good time. I'm trying to get them more motivated to do more, but a lot of them have Church activities the next few weekends. Plus, every kid at my house is sick right now. I keep hoping that I don't catch it. I'm trying not to spend a lot of time at home right now.

I feel like things are just insane. I feel like I keep running and running and running and I never get to the point where I can take a breath. I'm ready to just stop being responsible (like that would ever really happen).

Good news: I'm halfway through my term. Not much longer now.

What Class Are You?

You Are Upper Class

Class isn't always about money, and you've at least got the brains, manners, and interests of an upper class person. You don't have a trashy bone in your body, and you don't pretend to be someone you're not. You're comfortable with your station in life, and class issues don't really bother you. The finest things in life are within your reach, and you're comfortable enjoying them. You may end up: A business leader, corporate lawyer, or philanthropist Other people who share your class: Bill Gates, Oprah, former world leaders like Bill Clinton, and those reclusive billionaires no one ever talks about.

What Class Are You?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;



Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,



And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.



I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

--Robert Frost

Recent news

Sometimes my life totally reflects the title of my blog.

I've been working a lot lately. Not really much to tell on that front, but I'm glad I'm working. I love teaching, though I seem to only get in trouble at one school. I held the kids too long one day and apparently am not allowed to give them candy either. But other than that, teaching is great.

Two weeks ago, I started school again. After school, I flew to CA, went straight to my class, then went to a friend's house to sleep. I got up early in the morning to fly back. Everything was great until I got to where my flight connected and the flight was delayed. I pretty much missed my first class. Fortunately, someone could cover for me. Then last weekend I drove down to CA for my other classes. I stayed with one of the ladies in my program Friday night and then we drove to class. That night I drove to my aunt's in Vegas and stayed the night. I watched the morning session of conference and then drove home. I caught part of the afternoon session on the radio. I will be very happy when I am done with my courses.

And the last bit of news is that there is a boy in my life. The bad news is that this boy has been in my life for a long time and nothing has ever happened between us. But I'm feeling that there will be a change. I just keep hoping it will be sooner rather than later.
Here are some of the influencing details:
We've danced together and have developed a relationship of trust
We both like to go to the Symphony
He slugged me when I didn't take him the Shakespeare festival two years ago, but then went without me this year
We go hot tubbing or swimming almost every week. And sometimes go twice to make up for the times we miss.
He goes with me to all the movie musicals. And sometimes he's the one who suggests them
He takes me to dinner occasionally
He likes kids
He comes up with the ideas, but then I have to plan them
Pretty much, I spend at least one night a week with him, generally two or more.
He is my best friend. I trust him completely and I'm comfortable around him.
The more I learn about him, the better a person I find that he is. Unlike Highlander, he doesn't say he is one way and then I find out he's not that. Former Dance Partner, or FDP, just doesn't say. He just is.

However, we're really still just friends. He's never held my hand or put his arm around me. But hope springs eternal, right? I'm trying to have a little faith, because the realist in me says I should give it up. The optimist in me says the realist is just impatient (as is my mother). We'll see who wins out.

My super cute nephew!

My nephew was born on Monday. My mom had come out Sunday just in case and to help me babysit on Monday and my sister went into the hospital that afternoon. He was born early Monday morning.

Here are some pictures from my sister's first day back home. My nephew The Goldfish is about a day and a half old.

Me and the baby.

Here's his little face! I only just saw him with his eyes open yesterday, so I only have pictures of him sleeping.

My sister is doing well, still recovering, but adjusting. She is in love with her little boy. And my mom is hanging out with her, so all it good.

I can't wait until I can spend more time with him! Kids are so much fun!

Awful, dreaded wife

The other morning I was talking to the 10 year old, and he asked me "Why do they say awful, dreaded wife?"

I was at a complete loss as to what he was talking about, so I asked for some clarification. "Where did you hear that?"

"On the marriage thing. They always say, do you take this woman to be your awful, dreaded wife?"

So I explained to him the words lawful and wedded. And then spent the next five minutes laughing my head off.

Princesses

One of the fads lately has been 'princesses'. Everything is princesses. In pink. With lots of fluff. And every little girl should be a princess, she deserves it.

I've never really liked this movement. At all. And I finally figured out why.

The princesses I grew up with actually DID SOMETHING. They were responsible and fought for the rights of their people. I figured this out when I found She-Ra on Hulu and started watching it. Adora was She-Ra, the Princess of Power. She chose to not go back to her family so that she could fight the forces of evil that she helped establish. She felt a sense of responsibility and followed through.
Let's take another example. Princess Leia. To quote a list I once found, she's an ambassador, a freedom fighter and Jedi material. And she can fight. She opposed the evil Empire and braved Jabba the Hutt. I mean, come on!!

These are the princesses I grew up with. They fought evil. They took responsibility. And they didn't wear pink. This is why I feel the princesses of today do such a disservice to the girls of today. The idea perpetuated is that if you're a princess, you get what you want. My princesses fought for what is right. Girls of today need better role models to look up to. Role models who take responsibility.

I think I like my princesses better.

Car problems

I took my car into the shop today. Whenever I try to pump gas, the fuel tank won't accept it. The pump always shuts off and then spits gas back at me. I have to hold the pump so that there is barely any gas coming out and hold if for like ten minutes to fill my tank.

Apparently the problem is that the rollover valve is stuck. That's the valve that keeps the gas from going out in case of a rollover. Sadly, you can't replace just the valve, you have to replace the ENTIRE fuel tank. Let me tell you, that's not cheap.

So fun stuff. Not replacing the fuel tank yet. Can't afford it. And its not really that important. Its not something that is going to affect the way the car runs.

Fat

I've noticed recently that my pants no longer fit me. While I am not what conventional America would call 'fat', by my own standards, I weigh too much. I don't want to buy new clothes and I am not satisfied looking the way I currently do. I have gained 10 lbs in the last year and if I continue on in that vein, I will quickly weigh much more than I care too. So my goal is to lose that 10 lbs. My life last year was far too sedentary, so I am planning on changing that. Hurting my foot did NOT help at all, but its feeling better.

I really should change my diet too, but that requires me to actually do shopping, which I don't currently do.

Good luck to me!!

Chivalry

I found this article while browsing around online today (while I should have been getting my classroom ready) and thought I'd share. I like the point he makes and for any guys out there reading this, holy cow, chivalry will make a place for you in my heart. No joke.

Blind Date

I went on a blind date this last weekend. He's a doctor from about four hours south. He was in town to visit family and his sister set us up. On Friday, we went up to Sundance to see the Fantasticks, which was quite fun. And we chatted. Then he asked me out for Saturday and we went to see an independent film and have dinner. And then we walked around downtown and one of the shopping centers where there is a musical fountain (which incidentally, turns off at ten o'clock).

Now, he is good looking, funny, nice and a doctor. But he is almost 11 years older than me. I would like your opinions on this. Good, bad, stories? I have a tendency to date younger men, so that much older scares me a little. Let me know what you think.

My struggle finding a job

I've been looking for a job since I've been back in UT, and it has not been the most productive search. But you never know what is going to come your way, so you just keep plugging along, hoping, with faith in the Lord that something is bound to work out.

Back in July, I applied for a position at a charter school. At a similar time, a position opened up in a school district I REALLY like for a full time Drama teacher. I applied, looked up the program, and took my resume and a cover letter into the principal, and told all my friends and family to pray I got the job. The following Monday, I had an interview at the charter school. It was only a one hour drama position, so pretty much all they'd give me was some experience to get a better job later. The next day they called me and offered me the position along with a one hour Reading Specialist job. That's all they could offer me. I was still hoping for the full time position at the public school, and I really couldn't make a living just working there, so I declined. And then the public school didn't even call me for an interview. Mildly disappointing (to say the least)

Fast forward three(ish) weeks. I finally managed to get a hold of a lady who runs an Elementary School Ballroom Dance program. She said there was a position at a Jr. High available. Well, I love middle school, so I emailed her my resume and I got a call from the principle the next day. We scheduled an interview for Monday (yesterday), and I went in. I had the feeling that there really was no one else for the position, so the job was pretty much in the bag. I accepted it because I would really love to teach ballroom. Might as well do what I love, right? Sadly, this too is a two hour a day program, but there is after school work, and I'll help out with the tech side of theater teaching kids outside of class. So there is room to grow, which is the benefit over the charter school.

Then, today, I got a phone call from the school where I used to teach dance up north and they wanted me to interview for the dance position that I used to have that the teacher just resigned from. This time, it would actually be a full time position because I would do part time at one middle school and part time at another, which adds up to full time. However, it is not ballroom, its just plain dance. And I don't want to teach dance, and I don't want to take classes to get the credential for something I don't want to teach. So I told them I wouldn't come in to interview. Which is kind of sad because the principle wrote in my letter of recommendation that he would hire me again, so the interview was probably just a formality. But I would have to drive two hours every day for the job, plus my prep period would be spent driving from one school to the other. And I do still need time to study.

So I am teaching ballroom for basically peanuts right now. I will hopefully be able to teach for the elementary school program in the morning, and my landlady wants me to sell shoes for her a couple days a week, and I'll be working at least one night a week at the game store. And trying to fit my school work around it. I am, truly, insane.

Horoscope

"There's nothing but fire in the air -- well, that and a little bit of intrigue, which makes quite the exciting combination for someone as curious as you. Needless to say, you're going to love every minute of this day, especially if you have a partner in crime in tow -- and when have you ever had a problem finding someone who fits that description? Just be sure to keep things calm. As calm as possible, anyway."

I think I need a partner in crime.

Reflecting

So I had a chat with a girlfriend today about my relationship with Highlander, and I've noticed something interesting. Both Highlander and Molasses Man considered our breakups mutual. I'm not sure why that was, because I didn't want to break up either time. Maybe because I didn't put up a fight. But I think that if you both don't want it, what's the point? Maybe that's my problem, I let them have their own opinions and don't force them to do something different.
Maybe they just need to feel that its mutual to make them feel better about themselves.
Just an interesting connection I had this morning.

Road Trip!

I have no pictures, but here was my weekend. My cousin got married on Saturday, so I went down. Here's the breakdown:

Tues: My sister in WA decides that my mom is heartbroken that she can't make it (because my dad was going to drive her down, but then his long haul trucking schedule got messed up, so she couldn't make it because he wasn't home to take her), so my sister buys her a one way ticket down to SLC (which was cheaper than flying to LAX, and she could drive down with us) and we find her a ride back afterward.

Wed: My mother flies down, I pick her up first thing in the morning.

Thurs: My mother, Blondie (my prego sister) and I drive from UT to Vegas. Takes longer than I anticipate (I planned on having to stop every hour for my sister to walk around for a few minutes and on my mother needing to use the bathroom all the time) because we stopped for an hour for dinner. We stayed with my cousin and her husband. My mother hasnt' met any of my cousins spouses, she can't ever afford to go to the weddings, not to mention she doesn't talk to one of her sisters and rarely to her mother. It was nice to see my cousin and just chat, even though we'd see each other in another couple days.

Fri: We drive to LA to stay with my uncle whose son was getting married. We stopped to get gas off the 210, but we couldn't find a gas station. We stopped at several exits, but no gas station. Even in shopping centers. We finally stopped and asked and had to go five or six more lights down before we ran into one. Fortunately, there was another freeway entrance right next to the gas station (yeah, that was just a LITTLE annoying). My sister took a nap after this, and I got on my OWN computer and watched a little Castle on Hulu. Also chatted with a couple people who I haven't been able to chat with recently. My grandfather sent me to get food, but that was the only qualification he gave me. My mom, grandfather, sister and I chatted. We talked about the different pets my mom had growing up. Now I know why we had so many pets growing up. And I fully intend to have pets when my children are growing up. They are so much fun!

Sat: I was sent out to buy groceries for breakfast. My grandfather asked me what kind of toast I wanted. I said "toasted". My grandfather laughed because those are the same kind of answers he gives to questions!! Yes, I have my grandfather's sense of humor. He told me to get a quart of eggs. I had to ask someone where to find those. I was so confused, until they pointed me to the pre-cracked/mixed eggs! Duh, Treatqueen. My grandfather made scrambled eggs for breakfast, after which, I fell asleep on the couch. Then I dragged my sister to DSW because I needed shoes that didn't hurt my feet. I found some super cute shoes!! I was very happy with them, though they weren't what I had orignially planned on buying. Then my mom took a nap, and then my sister took a nap. I surfed the web. I took a shower and then went outside to dry my hair due to the lack of a blow dryer and the fact that it was stinking hot outside. My grandfather drove us to the wedding, but his passenger side window got stuck, so it was open the whole way down the freeway (good thing my hair didn't need too much upkeep!). The wedding was outside, which was HOT! even in the shade. Our side of the family took up four rows and four tables at dinner! We are getting pretty big, and not even half of my immediate family was there! The wedding was nice, and then we went into the clubhouse to wait for dinner. We were in there for about an hour. There was a bar and a couple tables of fruit, cheese and crackers. This time gave us a chance to all chat. I got to talk to nearly all my relatives. My mother took the chance to meet all the spouses of my cousins and even talked to her mother. I was very proud of her. Then we went in for dinner. We had a salad and then a chicken dish with mashed potatoes and vegetables. There was WAY too much chicken, so my mother got some foil to take some home. Then my aunt L started collecting chicken for my mom to take home. It was pretty funny. We talked some more during dinner because it took a long time. Then they started the dancing. The first few were alright, but then they started getting into the popular, hip hop type music (along with all the language that goes with that and content). After a while of that, it was getting late, especially for my sister and mother, so we decided to go home. I had to go around through the side gate and in the back door because we didn't have the right keys to get in the front door.

Sun: We got up around six and got ready to leave. I made some french toast for breakfast. Both grandpa and my uncle G got up to see us off. We drove the entire day. It was hot outside! I could feel it through the windows, even though the A/C was on. We didn't really stop much. My sister was in the back most of the time. I did have my mother drive part way. That was nice to take a break after driving so much this weekend. We got to my sister's house late in the evening and stayed there for a while because my dad and grandma came over to pick up my mother. My dad drives long haul and he was taking my mom home. So I got to see my grandmother who I almost never get to see. Its been at least five years, probably more. Then I went home. It was nice to sleep in my own bed.

Harry Potter 6

Its been a while since I've read the book, so I didn't pick up on all the little things that got cut out. However, I think this movie might be my favorite so far. I was wondering how they were going to make it PG when the last one was PG13, but they did it.

And the movie was funny! I think that was my favorite part. I like jokes, they make life fun. I don't think we should take things so seriously. So yay!

That's all I have to say. Not a critique, just thought I'd let you know I liked the movie.

Boys need girls

I have come to this conclusion through many different experiences. One of them is working at a game store. Boys are so messy (in general), especially when they are left on their own. I don't know what it is, but its weird.

Boys need girls to balance them out. There are many more examples, but they seem to have fled my mind at the moment. That's what you get for creating blog posts in your mind while vaccuuming and then going back to write the post three or more hours later. I was thinking that just in general guys need girls around. They are helpful in so many ways.

By the way, girls also need boys. But that's another post.

Keep your marriage together

Obviously I have so much experience, but I really liked this article.

The insanity continues

This morning I picked up my mother from the airport. She is driving with my prego sister and I down to LA for my cousins wedding. The wedding is Saturday evening and we drive back Sunday so that my mom can ride back home with my dad. We bought the ticket for her to come out yesterday. Craziness.

Also, yesterday, I had to turn down a job offer because it was only for two hours a day! And in the middle of the day. There is a full time position available a little ways south and I am !praying! that I get that one. Any help would be appreciated.

I'm sure there is more insanity, but that's all I can think of right now. The brain is a little fried from the craziness.

Metatarsalgia

This is what I have right now. It pretty much means my foot hurts, specifically in the ball of the foot, second toe. It is caused by several different things. Being on your feet a lot, running/walking, athletic shoes with little support (ie. dance shoes), ill fitting shoes, high heels and being overweight. The only one of those that I can't claim is being overweight. The treatment is rest, ice, IBuProfin and getting insoles. After that, I'll have to go to the doctor and maybe get specialized shoes. I'm hoping the ice and rest works. I do not like the idea of staying off my feet. Pretty much because it means I can't do anything. Lame!!

Foot pain is lame!! hee hee.

Here's hoping I feel better soon.

The Brothers Bloom

This was a movie that I've been waiting to come out for a long time. I never saw it at the regular theaters, but since I moved back to UT, I am able to take advantage of the dollar theater (yay!!!). The Brothers Bloom was showing there, so I went to see it last night.

Now besides having a great cast; Adrian Brody, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel Wiesz, the story was very entertaining. A very telling quote is "He writes his cons the way dead Russians write novels" including story arcs and anti heros. The story comes full circle, and there is foreshadowing. The storyline is well written in my opinion, but don't expect a fluffy ending. Still, I was in stitches throughout. I recommend it for anyone who doesn't consider a blockbuster movie the epitome of movies.

I'm bad at movie reviews because I never want to give too much away, but you only get better through practice, right?

Random tidbits

I am not getting online as frequently as I used to because of my new location. I don't have wireless so I have to use a different computer to get online, which results in less time online. So if you see my activity decrease, that is why. I also have more things to keep me busy (read: four children) so I don't spend as much time idling around online.

I am very excited to be back in Utah. I have finished my travels; going back to CA to pick up the rest of my stuff and visiting my grandparents, and am now settling into summer. I am still looking for a teaching job come the fall, but I have a part time summer job at the game store and will also be selling shoes for my landlady.

Funny story. This morning, I was painting the little girl's fingernails and Baby decided he needed his nails done too. Well, my landlord is anti boys doing anything that can be considered "girly" so we cut and filed them. Unfortunatly, Baby then managed to get a hold of one of the nail polishes while I was doing my last coat. I didn't think he would be able to get the lid off because the lid comes off and then you have to untwist the cap. Well, he did. And I caught him just before he completely opened it. But I got silver nail polish all over my hands. And some of my nails (that are painted a different color). Smart little fart.

Also, I think I need to get back into dancing.

Update

I figured I should probably post something new because I'm somewhere else doing something different.

I have moved back to Utah!!! I never thought I would be excited about that, but I am. I just miss the atmosphere, waving at my neighbors. I miss having all the stores I shop at being so close and I miss not having to drive through LA traffic. I like being close enough to visit my friends.

I am back in the same living situation, which will be good for me to save some money! I also got my old job back, though I won't have many hours. Still, that's better than nothing!

I do have to go back to CA this weekend to get the rest of my stuff. I think I may have managed to sell the bunkbed and desk that don't fit in my car.

The next weekend, my baby sister and I are going to visit my grandparents, whom I haven't visited in like two years. I'll have to bring some books and movies with me to keep from being bored. Any suggestions? I will take a trip to the library.

Life is good. Breathe a deep sigh of relief. Everything works out, even if its not the way we planned.

I am feeling much better about myself and my life.

10 Things Gas Stations Won't Tell You

Check this out.

It's at least an interesting read.

Well, that's that

Highlander and I had a talk today. After two weeks of awkwardness we have decided to move on. Well, I was still for working things out, but he's done some soul searching and some praying and he feels that it is wrong to continue because its not right and it would be dishonest to lead me on. Which I kind of knew would happen. He was not invested in the relationship like I was and the Lord has been preparing me for the breakup. He (the Lord) told me to just 'let him go'. So I did. You can't make someone choose something they don't want.

The good news though is that I am moving back to Utah! Highlander was really the only reason I was staying in CA; I couldn't get a job and the cost of living was making things really difficult for me. So now that that is gone, I can move back with a light heart and hopefully find some joy again. I don't really enjoy living in California. Now its just figuring out the logistics of moving back.

Yes, I am insane. I would like it to calm down a bit, but it never seems to.

Onward and upward!!

I hope that something better comes along

Musical

So I was taking those dumb quizzes on Facebook and I read this one out loud.

If you ruled the world, what would it look like?

My roommates promptly replied "a musical" and "everyone would be singing"

To which I laughed because apparently they know me well enough to figure that one out.

Love horoscope

Today's horoscope:

Love comes in many different flavors -- sometimes it's hot and spicy, while other times it's more simple and comforting. All you have to do is understand which kind you are dealing with right now. So take things slowly in any new relationships, regardless of whether or not they are romantic. Let this person show you who they are in their own way, and don't overlook red flags that pop up. Just because they are inconvenient doesn't mean that they still aren't true.

Guess I should take a chill pill.

Quality of work

For my program, we write a lot. I turned in my last assignment this weekend. The professor whose class this is from I am currently taking my third class from. This is her response to my assignment:

Treatqueen,
Excellent work. Treatqueen, your writing style has a clarity and at the same time a scholarly quality. I hope you are planning to continue to your PhD.
Best,
Professor

I have to tell you, that completely floored me. And was a genuine bright spot to my life at this time.

The Challenge of Life

It was intended that life be a challenge, not so that you would fail, but that you might succeed through overcoming.

Richard G. Scott. Finding Peace, Happiness and Joy pgs 248-9

One step at a time

Here is a picture of Highlander. I think I can call him my boyfriend now. The 'l' word has been dropped.

This is the world I live in

I am in the process of applying for jobs and this was on one of the district sites, a newly formed district:

"Our new district is attracting strong interest from talented
teacher candidates, particularly in the middle of a national teacher shortage."

and then

"In addition, with a relatively strong economy here in Utah, our public schools are the beneficiaries of
more difficult economic circumstances in other states – in Los Angeles alone, as many 5,400 teachers and
support staff could be laid off due to budget cuts."

Yeah. So obviously Southern California is NOT the place to be as a teacher. Because apparently, there is a national teacher shortage!! How ironic.

Half Blood Prince

This one is only PG!! That is very exciting to me. Though I wonder how they are doing that considering the content matter.

High School Musical 4

This is just too funny.

Reality Check

This weekend, I went to visit the boy I like, who for the purposes of the blog shall be known as Highlander. No matter how much I like him, he is still a boy. I saw his bedroom and bathroom. They definitely belonged to a boy. And boys are kind of gross. And he eats like a boy. Lots of meat. That sits so heavy in my stomach.

What was I expecting at a bachelor's pad, though, right?

You know you're a BYU Ballroom Dancer if . . .

(Standard)
. . . your head feels more comfortable positioned out and slightly to the left.
. . . you’ve ever heard Betsy say, “reach for the chocolate!”
. . . you have to sleep on your stomach with your head facing right just to make sure you don’t get lopsided.
. . . you’ve ever danced using a Cougar Eat tray as a frame aid.
. . . Kyrstin has made you do at least three different types of sit ups for no apparent reason. (Don't worry, you'll figure out what they're for later)
. . . your angry face is now your “Tango” face
. . . you’ve ever heard the Christmas tree analogy for correct framework in dance position.
. . . it feels weird NOT to have someone attached to your right rib.
. . . you've become very aware of which parts of your feet you use: ball, heel, toe, inside edge of the foot, etc.
. . . people sometimes confuse you for a business student.
. . . you know body flight has nothing to do with hopping and flapping your arms.
. . . it sometimes feels like your shoulders have fused to your torso.
. . . you can rotated you’re upper body to obscene angles and doing so feels completely natural.
. . . you not only know the difference between CBM and CBMP, you know exactly what the acronyms stand for.
. . . you know that you can't just waltz your way into heaven. Viennese is the required dance.
. . . you've spent entire class sessions just on shaping.
. . . You've gotten used to stopping at random and uncomfortable positions so that the professor can check your framework, but you've never really learned how to start back up again without any momentum.
. . . you think Lee is so relaxed he's practically horizontal.
. . . (men) you can't remember the last time you wore a T-shirt on a week day, and you constantly carry a tie in your bag, just in case.
. . . you know there's nothing hotter than a man in a tail suit. (in more ways than one)

(American)
. . . straightening your legs completely is heresy.
. . . your angry face is now your “Tango” face.
. . . slouching is now uncomfortable under most circumstances.
. . . the word “routine” is almost completely foreign to you.
. . . you’ve seriously considered seeing your doctor for whiplash after dancing a particularly energetic tango.
. . . people are convinced your legs and hips are made out of rubber when you dance the Cha Cha.
. . . you show 180 students how to do cuban action by pointing to the calluses on your feet.
. . . you’ve stolen at least three or four elements from standard or latin dancing and incorporated it into your dancing style.
. . . you know how to do body rolls and you’re not afraid to use them!
. . . you can’t remember the last time you did a box step in anything.
. . . you know about sway but you never really use it.
. . . the level of coolness for a variation is directly proportional to how insane you have to be in order to attempt it.
. . . the term MAC is not just a reference to an awesome computer.
. . . you either avoid blues swing like the plague or it has become one of your guilty pleasures.
. . . you are obsessed with West Coast Swing or Lindy Hop.
. . . you have no discernible sense of shame.

(Latin)
. . . you point your toes at the slightest provocation.
. . . you feet bend in ways they were never meant to bend in originally.
. . . your Rumba walk and your normal walk are practically indistinguishable.
. . . the junk in your trunk has a mind of its own.
. . . everything comes out sultry even when you don’t mean it to be.
. . . your angry face is now your “Paso” face.
. . . you’ve become accustomed to hearing Brent shout “Go Cougars!” at random intervals.
. . . you associate a cell phone ringing with the phrases “chocolate chip, extra salt, under baked."
. . . you know that the Rumba is the dance of love, and sometimes love hurts.
. . . you count to four by starting on two and ending on one.
. . . you consistently get more action on the dance floor than the rest of your private life combined.
. . . (ladies) you’re absolutely horrified that Brent can dance your part better than you can.
. . . (ladies) your convinces that the dresses some professionals wear are held up solely by super glue and fate.
. . . (ladies) you go through heel caps like candy.
. . . (ladies) you know Brent's exact procedure for slicking your bun so that other dancers could use it as a mirror.
. . . (men) you constantly have to imagine that you’re not a white guy.
. . . (men) you can move your hips better than most non-dancer ladies.
. . . (men) you know that according to Brent, Slavik is the quintessential example of how Latin men should move.
. . . (men) you've ever participated in a competition where ties are absolutely forbidden and the first three buttons on your shirt are considered optional.
. . . (men) you can wear pastels, spangles, sequins, and rhinestones AND still feel like a man.
. . . (men) you not only empathize with but in fact share some women's feelings and experiences regarding high heels.
. . . sickling your feet is punishable by death.

(General)
. . . you're easily identified at great distances by the little black bag.
. . . you address all ballroom professors by their first name and know exactly what their preferred dance style is.
. . . you know there is a HUGE difference between an 89 and a 90 on test scores.
. . . you have absolutely no issues with personal space.
. . . the only way someone could invade your personal bubble is if they stabbed your with something.
. . . you have at least one or two scars from incidents where you and a woman in heels disagreed on certain subtle points of floor craft.
. . . ballroom dance IS your social life, and non dancers have a difficult time grasping this concept.
. . . the first day of class you know the difference between a standard shoe and a latin shoe.
. . . you’ve gone through your entire iTunes library looking for danceable music.
. . . you know what dance would fit to a song before you even know the name of the song.
. . . your feet have molded to fit your dance shoes.
. . . you physically cringe at the prospect of searching for a new competition partner.
. . . you know that dance labs are for practicing floor craft, not traveling.
. . . you wish the slow pokes would stay on the inside like they're supposed to.
. . . you can beat most cars in your commute from the RB to the Wilk.
. . . you schedule coaching sessions or practice times when any sane individual would be asleep.
. . . you've lost track of the number of times you've taken your pants off in public. Usually you either had latin pants underneath or a dance skirt over the top, but that's beside the point.
. . . (ladies) you’ve purchased five bottles of hair spray just for Dancesport.
. . . round is not a shape and heat has nothing to do with temperature.
. . . (ladies) you own at least 15 pairs of beige, toast, or caramel fishnets.
. . . (ladies) walking around campus with your hair in a bun, wearing a latin or standard skirt, sandals, and a jacket is a perfectly acceptable fashion statement.
. . . (men) at a dance you select partners based on the type of shoes they're wearing. Sandals / open heeled shoes = No thank you. Standard shoes / Latin Sandals = Yes, please. Worn character shoes = Oh baby, oh baby!!!
. . . you gauge the amount of fun you had at a dance by the number of sore muscle groups or numb toes you have the next day.
. . . you have two performance wardrobes: one thats completely devoid of sequins, rhinestones, feathers, or shear fabric; and the real one.
. . . you idolize people with really weird and outlandish names.
. . . you go through at least three bottles of home tanner before a competition.
. . . unlike people who gain their knowledge of dancing from reality TV, you actually know the differences between Standard, Latin, and American.
. . . the last time you did something incredibly damaging to your personal reputation your explanation included the phrase, "I'm a ballroom dancer!"
. . . you own at least one pair of shoes that look like they've been at the dangerous end of a firing range.
. . . you don't do your laundry as much as normal people, because you have to wear the same pants/skirt tomorrow anyway.
. . . you've ever used your shoe bag as a makeshift towel.
. . . you practically live in the RB. That includes everything from shaving, showering, and brushing your teeth to doing makeup and hair with the full length mirrors on the ballroom walls (if you happen to be a lady). The only thing you haven't done is stashed a bed somewhere.
. . . you honestly can't name a public area of the RB or Wilk you haven't taken a nap in. (excluding the rest rooms, because that's just nasty)
. . . you eat more food from the RB vending machines than at home.
. . . you only watch "dancing with the stars" or "So you think you can dance" because you're hoping to come across a few interesting variations you might be able to steal.
. . . everything you own smells like feet. EVERYTHING!
. . . you've had a sudden and disconcerting realization that thinking only gets you into trouble.
. . . the rest of the world is dead to you during the weekend of Dance Sport.
. . . you associate the term "medals" with long hours of practice, sweat, blood, tears, and a feeling of unnamed dread.
. . . it hurts to watch the 100 level students.





No matter how many times I read this, it still makes me laugh.

Twitterpated

So a couple weeks ago, I told my good friend Scully that I liked a boy. She asked me if I was twitterpated. Not wanting to reveal too much, I asked what her definition of twitterpated was. She asked if I was smiling for no reason and a couple other things. Well, I wasn't really at the time, but I thought I was probably twitterpated anyway.

Now, I am smiling for no reason, so it must be official. I catch myself doing it randomly throughout the day, which then makes me smile more. I just feel warm and fuzzy inside, and it makes me smile.

Ok. I'm a little cheesy. Sorry.

Not much else is going on. In the middle of spring break, but not doing much.

Like this was a surprise

You Are Going to Heaven

You're so saintly you're practically an angel, and there's no other place for you than heaven. You are always concerned with doing the right thing. You consider being a good person a joy... not a burden. You're not perfect, and you don't expect anyone else to be. You are ethical without being sanctimonious about it. You are happy with yourself and the decisions you've made. And that's what's important.

Are You Going to Heaven or Hell?

Crazy Busy

I realized I haven't really posted in a while. That is because my life has suddenly become jam-packed with things to do. Last quarter, all I had to do was my schooling, and this term, things have seemed to suddenly appear. I am working two part time jobs, and I think one of them is going to have to go. One of my classes has driven me crazy with the lack of clarity. Fortunately, two of my classes will be over this Tuesday and the last one is over this coming Sunday. So I will make it. And then I have a couple days off. But the family whose basement has all my stuff is moving, so somehow I have to get all my stuff moved. While I'm not in Utah, but in California.
And then on top of that, I thought I'd toss in a boy. Nothing has really started yet, but I like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me. And I currently think he's wonderful, even if he is a little goofy. We'll see if things stay that way.

Up

I love Pixar. Really.

I know why I couldn't get a job

I've been substitute teaching for the last month or so in the local school district down here. I have to say that the kids are awful. Seriously. They do not have any respect. Not for me, not for them, not for their classroom. I wondered for so long why I couldn't get a job down here when I felt like I should move. Now I know. I would have hated it. I would have spent way too much time stressing over how to deal with the students, I would never have been able to find time for my homework and I would not be sleeping because I would be trying to get too many things done.

I had a couple of girls just about get in a fight today. In eighth grade. They just don't care that I'm there. Almost no one did the work. And I always feel bad for the kids who are trying because no one respects them. They probably don't get much attention because the teachers are so busy with the bad kids. My voice is worn out by the end of every day. In the three/four weeks I've subbed, I've raised my voice more than in the entire year I subbed up in UT.

This world is going to fall apart. And its going to be because of apathy.

The Musical is Back!!!!

Why I LOVE HUGH!!!

81st Academy Awards.

I swear I could watch this guy all day. The triple threat. There's just nothing more to say.

A little good advice

Me: Why is it that everything in life hits you all at once?

Friend: Cause the lord loves you

Me: Gee thanks.

Friend: your welcome
and if it's too much then he'll help out

Anonymous II

Apparently my anonymous friend simply forgot to write a note. :)

For everyone else, it was a good friend from high school (who is a total blog lurker) and I am very appreciative that he thought to send me flowers.

Thanks again!

Anonymous

Apparently I need to change my opinion about Valentine's Day. I'm in Utah, and my roommates in CA found these on my doorstep last night. Addressed to me. With no note saying who it was from.





They are really beautiful, but its driving me crazy that I don't know who they are from!!! I don't think that many people have my address.

V-Day stinks

As I was shoveling the driveway today, I was thinking about Valentine's Day and how sad it is to be single on this day. And I thought, who really enjoys this day? I mean, come on. Its one more day for guys to forget to get something for their girls, or for singles to realize their alone, or to remember all the good and/or bad holidays you've had. I mean, we already have anniversaries, Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays and Christmas. Do we really need one more holiday to say I Love You? Shouldn't we be doing this every day anyway?

I think the only people who really enjoy Valentine's Day are those in Elementary School, where everyone gets valentines.

Voices

I love the 80's.

I was watching the new Knight Rider where they killed off all the big actors and they introduced the character/ robot/ not-sure- what-you-call-it K.A.R.R. And I thought hmmm, that sounds amazingly like Optimus Prime, from Transformers. Well, it didn't bother me enough to look it up, but today I was bored and I randomly came across it. Yes, it is the same voice. It is Peter Cullen. Peter also did the voice of K.A.R.R. in the original Knight Rider. He was in Smurfs, GI Joe, My Little Ponies, Murky in the Rainbow Brite series, DuckTales, Gummi Bears, Monterey Jack in Chip 'N Dale's Rescue Rangers and Eeyore in all the new Winnie the Pooh stuff.
I've been hearing this guy's voice since I was 5!!!!

Just a random little tidbit for your day.

Weird English Words

In the English language, it is so hard to know how to pronounce a word because English takes words from everywhere. So there are no hard set rules.

Today's example, segue. What an odd little word. It comes from the Italian seguire, meaning to follow. And most of the definitions have to do with music and musical directions, indicating a smooth transition from one piece/theme/part to another, without a break.

Utah. Again.

After taking a hard look at my life lately, I've come to a conclusion. I have been more stressed over the last five months than any time I can remember. First I was stressed about getting a job, then my hard drive crashed, then I finally got a job, worked an assignment that made me lose sleep and don't have time for my homework, which school is added stress as well. I have had more cold sores in the last six months than I have had in the last six years. And last night I was so tired, I forgot to take out my contacts. In the ten years I've had them, I've forgotten, like, twice.
And considering my classes are mostly online, and I would only have to come back twice a quarter, I started to ask myself, why am I here? (we are not even going to talk about the dating scene) So I've decided to move back to Utah. California is warm, and it has been good to experience something different, but I am so ready to be back in Utah. So as soon as my contract is out and I take a few more classes, I am moving back.

Emotionally Drained

As I've been studying for the last two hours and then taking a break to read blogs, I have been brought to tears about every fifteen minutes. I was starting to think that I was emotionally disturbed and seriously needed some help until I realized what has happened in the past week.

To start, I just completed a red-taped induction into substitute teaching, but until Monday was not registered in the system, which caused some amount of stress. Then, after sleeping in Tuesday morning (they are supposed to start calling at 5 am and since I didn't get a call, I thought I wouldn't get one), I was awoken at 8:15 to work a job that started at 7:20. And continued to work it all week. The first day they were a little crazy, the second day they were better, but today, they were crazy. So I've been trying to come up with ways to help them be more engaged. Plus, the last two nights, I have gone to bed early, but not been able to fall asleep for an hour or two (because I'm not on that regular sleeping schedule). The worst part is that I wake up several times a night for no apparent reason. On top of this, I have my school work, of which I have to read a 200 pg book that is not easy reading, plus an assignment I haven't even gotten to because of my other school work, plus more reading so that I can write a response. So I'm stressed about school, about subbing and about sleep. On top of that, I volunteered to help count the homeless tonight, which goes from 9pm to 1am. Like I need to be up at 1am. I shouldn't have volunteered, but no one else was. I'm such a push over. This is why I ended up in teaching. I like to help people.

So needless to say, I am on the verge of tears again. I really need some good sleep. I am SO looking forward to Sunday, a day of rest.
Pray that I'll make it.

What is it with the young ones?

I don't know what it is, but somehow, I manage to attract boys around 19 or 20 who are getting ready to go on missions. I promise I don't try, but somehow they find me.

Here's the latest story.

There is a very nice boy in the ward, we'll call him Mr. T, for no specific reason than he needs a name. Anyway, last Sunday (a week ago) he gave a talk in church, and he is going to go into the MTC on Feb 4. Now on Friday, I went to the afternoon institute class. We were all hanging around after the lesson and after eating and as I was getting ready to leave, I said, "Hey, I've got some cookies at home, anyone want to come have some?" Little did I know this was a HUGE mistake. Mr. T takes me up on it. Not a big deal. So he rides with me, (he is the only one who came) and I let him in and bring out the cookies. Well, what do you do after you have cookies? I have homework, but it seemed a little rude to send him away when he'd just gotten there. So we decided to watch a movie. In the middle of the day. With my roommate around.

So we are watching the movie and he just stares at me! I am completely ignoring it because I do NOT want to get involved (already sent one guy on a mission, NOT doing that again). He'll pretend for a while that he's watching the movie, but it is so obvious he is not. He then asks if I want a backrub. Um, excuse me? Why would I want you to touch me?
I'm sitting cross legged on the couch, and I can tell he totally wants to put his hand on my knee. At the end, I have just about had enough of the crazy tension and finally move to the chair. From there, I cannot see when he stares at me. I dragged my roommate along to drop him off at home because I totally did not want any awkward goodbyes.

I don't think he has a clue as to how old I am. And I am so grateful for my roommate for coming with me to drop him off. That was one of the most awkward moments I have had in a long time. Blech!

Adventures in Online Dating

I've been talking to this guy I met online, solely through emails. The site I'm using posts the age of their members. A little while ago, I asked when his birthday was, but he never answered. A couple days ago, I noticed that his age had changed. I was a little disgruntled considering I had asked when it was so that I could make sure I wished him a Happy Birthday. So I wrote him an email that was meant to be teasing about not telling me when his birthday was. Well, I called him a slacker. And then went on to other things.

This brilliant boy only noticed one thing. This was his reply 'wow, thanks for calling me a slacker'

Dude, if I have to notice your birthday because your age changes online when we've been talking for three months and you neglected to tell me when your birthday is when I ASKED, you are a total slacker.

Well, I'm afraid I came right out and said it again. Ok, what I said was "I just call it like I see it" And then told him it wouldn't have happened (me calling him a slacker) if he had told me when I asked, but also said he could change my mind.

So pretty much, that relationship is over.

And I wonder why I'm not married.

What am I doing?

I ask myself this question on a regular basis.
My current thoughts are these:
My classes are mostly online, we meet twice a term on a Saturday and everything else is online. I do have one class this quarter that I have to work in the literacy center every week, but other than that, I don't even go to class. There are three classes (taken NOT concurrently) that are not offered through my department, so those are not necessarily online classes. Saturday, I got the syllabus for one of those classes. I picked the online section, and so I only have class the first week and the last two weeks. I realized I pretty much do NOT need to be in California.
Considering the fact that I have not been able to get a job, my thoughts have been to return to Utah. I never thought I would want to stay in Utah, but I so did not want to leave after Christmas.
Plus I keep thinking about all the benefits of living in Utah. Ok, maybe not benefits, but the things I like. And all the things I don't like about California.
So my decision has been to finish out this quarter, perhaps the next, and then come back to Utah. Or go back. I'm looking for a job for next year. I've already applied to one place, and am looking in all the districts around Salt Lake and Utah Valley. I am also looking at a couple places in Washington, just to keep my options open. My parents are happy to know I'm going back.

What Planet Should You Rule?

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

More Christmas pics

Little Monster and Marcus.


Cookie gnomes strike


Ninja boy and his ninja bear

Joy of Christmas food

A couple pics from my holiday season

Baby and pumpkin bread


Chocolates

My landlady makes the best chocolates. Seriously. This is the room of temptation. I generally succumb to the temptation several times a day!

Cure

Apparently the cure for . . .
A long day driving back to CA
Through traffic that increased the trip an hour and a half
Being depressed about going back to CA
And leaving UT and all my friends (ok not ALL, but many)
Coming home to an apartment that flooded while I was gone
And having to clean up
Coming terms with feelings I do not want to have

Is . . .
A good meal
Ice cream
And watching Clue and laughing. A lot.