Parent Teacher Conferences

Means that I've been at the school for 12 hours. And I'll be back in less than 12 hours. That is a very LONG day.

However, I had more people come than I've ever had before. That could be because I am teaching three times as many classes. It's still exciting. And I feel like an adult doing it, not a kid pretending to do a job too big. I am in my comfort zone and I feel like I have something to say that is important. That's a nice feeling.

My career

One of the things I am struggling with right now is the fact that I can't get a full time position. I have the credentials to teach as a regular teacher, but right now I'm just working as a part time specialist. I have only taught full time for one year, but since then, I have never managed to teach more than part time. There are many reasons behind this, but today I finally figured out what the real issue is.

The real problem is that I never saw myself working. And if I did work, I wanted the kind of job that I loved, but wouldn't take up a lot of time so that I could spend the time I needed with my husband and kids. The good news is that I have my dream job. I LOVE it! I have a great time. The bad news is that I don't have the husband and kids to devote the rest of my time too.

My struggle finding a job

I've been looking for a job since I've been back in UT, and it has not been the most productive search. But you never know what is going to come your way, so you just keep plugging along, hoping, with faith in the Lord that something is bound to work out.

Back in July, I applied for a position at a charter school. At a similar time, a position opened up in a school district I REALLY like for a full time Drama teacher. I applied, looked up the program, and took my resume and a cover letter into the principal, and told all my friends and family to pray I got the job. The following Monday, I had an interview at the charter school. It was only a one hour drama position, so pretty much all they'd give me was some experience to get a better job later. The next day they called me and offered me the position along with a one hour Reading Specialist job. That's all they could offer me. I was still hoping for the full time position at the public school, and I really couldn't make a living just working there, so I declined. And then the public school didn't even call me for an interview. Mildly disappointing (to say the least)

Fast forward three(ish) weeks. I finally managed to get a hold of a lady who runs an Elementary School Ballroom Dance program. She said there was a position at a Jr. High available. Well, I love middle school, so I emailed her my resume and I got a call from the principle the next day. We scheduled an interview for Monday (yesterday), and I went in. I had the feeling that there really was no one else for the position, so the job was pretty much in the bag. I accepted it because I would really love to teach ballroom. Might as well do what I love, right? Sadly, this too is a two hour a day program, but there is after school work, and I'll help out with the tech side of theater teaching kids outside of class. So there is room to grow, which is the benefit over the charter school.

Then, today, I got a phone call from the school where I used to teach dance up north and they wanted me to interview for the dance position that I used to have that the teacher just resigned from. This time, it would actually be a full time position because I would do part time at one middle school and part time at another, which adds up to full time. However, it is not ballroom, its just plain dance. And I don't want to teach dance, and I don't want to take classes to get the credential for something I don't want to teach. So I told them I wouldn't come in to interview. Which is kind of sad because the principle wrote in my letter of recommendation that he would hire me again, so the interview was probably just a formality. But I would have to drive two hours every day for the job, plus my prep period would be spent driving from one school to the other. And I do still need time to study.

So I am teaching ballroom for basically peanuts right now. I will hopefully be able to teach for the elementary school program in the morning, and my landlady wants me to sell shoes for her a couple days a week, and I'll be working at least one night a week at the game store. And trying to fit my school work around it. I am, truly, insane.

Quality of work

For my program, we write a lot. I turned in my last assignment this weekend. The professor whose class this is from I am currently taking my third class from. This is her response to my assignment:

Treatqueen,
Excellent work. Treatqueen, your writing style has a clarity and at the same time a scholarly quality. I hope you are planning to continue to your PhD.
Best,
Professor

I have to tell you, that completely floored me. And was a genuine bright spot to my life at this time.

This is the world I live in

I am in the process of applying for jobs and this was on one of the district sites, a newly formed district:

"Our new district is attracting strong interest from talented
teacher candidates, particularly in the middle of a national teacher shortage."

and then

"In addition, with a relatively strong economy here in Utah, our public schools are the beneficiaries of
more difficult economic circumstances in other states – in Los Angeles alone, as many 5,400 teachers and
support staff could be laid off due to budget cuts."

Yeah. So obviously Southern California is NOT the place to be as a teacher. Because apparently, there is a national teacher shortage!! How ironic.

I know why I couldn't get a job

I've been substitute teaching for the last month or so in the local school district down here. I have to say that the kids are awful. Seriously. They do not have any respect. Not for me, not for them, not for their classroom. I wondered for so long why I couldn't get a job down here when I felt like I should move. Now I know. I would have hated it. I would have spent way too much time stressing over how to deal with the students, I would never have been able to find time for my homework and I would not be sleeping because I would be trying to get too many things done.

I had a couple of girls just about get in a fight today. In eighth grade. They just don't care that I'm there. Almost no one did the work. And I always feel bad for the kids who are trying because no one respects them. They probably don't get much attention because the teachers are so busy with the bad kids. My voice is worn out by the end of every day. In the three/four weeks I've subbed, I've raised my voice more than in the entire year I subbed up in UT.

This world is going to fall apart. And its going to be because of apathy.

Emotionally Drained

As I've been studying for the last two hours and then taking a break to read blogs, I have been brought to tears about every fifteen minutes. I was starting to think that I was emotionally disturbed and seriously needed some help until I realized what has happened in the past week.

To start, I just completed a red-taped induction into substitute teaching, but until Monday was not registered in the system, which caused some amount of stress. Then, after sleeping in Tuesday morning (they are supposed to start calling at 5 am and since I didn't get a call, I thought I wouldn't get one), I was awoken at 8:15 to work a job that started at 7:20. And continued to work it all week. The first day they were a little crazy, the second day they were better, but today, they were crazy. So I've been trying to come up with ways to help them be more engaged. Plus, the last two nights, I have gone to bed early, but not been able to fall asleep for an hour or two (because I'm not on that regular sleeping schedule). The worst part is that I wake up several times a night for no apparent reason. On top of this, I have my school work, of which I have to read a 200 pg book that is not easy reading, plus an assignment I haven't even gotten to because of my other school work, plus more reading so that I can write a response. So I'm stressed about school, about subbing and about sleep. On top of that, I volunteered to help count the homeless tonight, which goes from 9pm to 1am. Like I need to be up at 1am. I shouldn't have volunteered, but no one else was. I'm such a push over. This is why I ended up in teaching. I like to help people.

So needless to say, I am on the verge of tears again. I really need some good sleep. I am SO looking forward to Sunday, a day of rest.
Pray that I'll make it.

What am I doing?

I ask myself this question on a regular basis.
My current thoughts are these:
My classes are mostly online, we meet twice a term on a Saturday and everything else is online. I do have one class this quarter that I have to work in the literacy center every week, but other than that, I don't even go to class. There are three classes (taken NOT concurrently) that are not offered through my department, so those are not necessarily online classes. Saturday, I got the syllabus for one of those classes. I picked the online section, and so I only have class the first week and the last two weeks. I realized I pretty much do NOT need to be in California.
Considering the fact that I have not been able to get a job, my thoughts have been to return to Utah. I never thought I would want to stay in Utah, but I so did not want to leave after Christmas.
Plus I keep thinking about all the benefits of living in Utah. Ok, maybe not benefits, but the things I like. And all the things I don't like about California.
So my decision has been to finish out this quarter, perhaps the next, and then come back to Utah. Or go back. I'm looking for a job for next year. I've already applied to one place, and am looking in all the districts around Salt Lake and Utah Valley. I am also looking at a couple places in Washington, just to keep my options open. My parents are happy to know I'm going back.

10th grade Graduation?

I love this article. I'm not sure if we can accomplish it, but I think a lot of the reasoning in the article is valid.

Interviews

I had an interview on Friday. I thought I really wanted it because it was at a middle school and it takes about nine minutes to get there. But I don't feel like it was a really good interview. Not actually having an English credential makes my life a little difficult. So while I thought it would be a great job, I don't think I'll get that position.
This morning I had an interview at a high school. This time I prayed that I would do a good job and leave a good impression. I had a really good interview there. And, the good new is, the position is actually a literacy/reading program which is exactly what I am studying! And one of the classes is scripted, so it wouldn't be a complete sink or swim. I don't know that I'll get that position, based on my true qualifications, but at least I felt good about the interview. Sometimes that is totally worth it.

Yes on Prop 8

I went to the DMV today and changed my driver's license to California. Whoo! Glad that's done. I also registered to vote!!

In other good news:
I have an interview today at a middle school and one on Monday at a high school!!

Something is going to work out! Yay!

Apartment

I have found an apartment I am going to move into!! It is close to the University, which means it is not close to my relatives, which is a little sad, but it will be nice to be so close to school. My roommates are super cute. One went to France the semester before I did and was roommates with one of the girls I went with. The other goes ballroom dancing twice a week! So I think it will be a good match.

The other plus is that I am having doubts as to getting a job in the area I am at now. It is just too big and there are too many people looking for jobs here. By contrast, the district by the school seems much friendlier and seems to have a couple positions that I should be able to fill. So here's hoping everything else works out as well!!

I'm sure glad the Lord loves me so much!!

Job Update

Today I had an interview. It did not go well. When they ask "how much do you know about . . ." and you have to say, "Nothing" more than twice, there are serious problems. It would be a miracle if they call me back.
But on to the good news. I talked to two teachers tonight. They both told me that pretty much the school district will not be hiring until October, when the schools know what their numbers are going to be like. The first one told me she was sure I would get a job when all those jobs come around and the second said there might be an opening at her school. So fingers crossed! And pray I can make it financially until October.
At least there is hope. That's all I'm saying. Because I was starting to get really discouraged. But I think I'm going to make it. Ok, I know I will.

Job Hunting

Sucks.

So I am now in California.I'm staying at my Uncle's until I find a job and place.  I am hoping to do both quickly. However, things are not looking absolutely fabulous.  I talked to one district that says for everything I don't have, I have a year to make up. However, there are other districts that require all the documentation before they hire. (apparently they are under state watch).  Which makes the hiring process much more difficult and frustrating, especially since I don't know which districts are sticklers and which are not, and you have to actually talk to the credential specialist in the district before you know. Crazy.I went to church yesterday. It was the smallest ward I have been too.  There were only two men passing the Sacrament!! My last ward (granted, it was huge) had eight men passing the Sacrament.  So that was a bit of a change.  But I met lots of people (it helps that everyone knows everyone) and definitely worked on that whole networking thing (I was in rare form last night, let me tell you).  I also went to the institute fireside and did more of the same.  Good luck to me!!The good news is I haven't totally freaked out that I don't have a job yet.  That is very good, becuase normally, I would be way beyond stressed right now.  I am feeling like everything will work out.  So I just keep plugging away and trying to figure out what exactly I am supposed to be doing out here.  I need to make some more phone calls and fill out some more applications, but at least I feel like I'm going the right direction. Something will present itself, now is just the time to work on my patience! (like I haven't been working on that for years)Anyway, that's about where I'm at. I have no clue what's going on or where I am supposed to be going, but I feel good about where I am. Weird.

Learning curve

I think that being in a singles ward has spoiled me. I still look at adults as if they know more than I do. But after twenty years as a member and many years of higher education, I am slowly becoming aware that I can't expect everyone to do a perfect job in their calling. In our program we are singing for a single adult conference, with some of the single adults. Last night we had a rehearsal with all of us for the first time. It took two and a half hours. I expected there to be good time management and I expected the director to know how to run a choir. I was disappointed. But after much reflection, I came to the realization that I can't always expect people to be good at everything and sometimes my job is just to support them in their calling, even if I could do a better job. Not that I would want the job. But I need to learn to be a little more forgiving, because I've had far too much training in classroom management, and that's really what the problem was I think

Give me your cell phone

I subbed at a high school today. The never ending problem with high school is that everyone has a cell phone. I told the class that if I saw it, I would take it away. So of course someone has to challenge me. This one kid had his cell phone out. There were approximately two minutes left in class. I asked for it, he refused. (a reasonable request cannot be refused without repercussions on the student's part) I asked him several times and then asked for his name. He wouldn't give me that either. Sadly for him, he was in the corner computer, so he couldn't escape without getting past me. Sadly for me, he was twice my size and probably had almost a foot on me. Then he started threatening and swearing at me. I still wouldn't let him go. Then the bell rang. He left and the other students told me his name.
My question is this? What is he thinking? I guess he really does not realize that it doesn't end with me, I wrote a full report for his teacher and he will have to deal with the consequences. He really thinks it is that unfair that he cannot use his cell phone in class and of course he does not have to follow the rules because he is different. Honestly, I do not get that mentality. What happened to respect in schools? Because I'm telling you, its not there.

The Joys of Life

Truth is I don't really want to write today, but as I get bored when other people don't write, I figured I had better.
Today was my first day substitute teaching. It was a second grade class. I was more worn out after subbing a second grade class than I was after teaching all my classes when I taught dance at both a middle school and a high school. Maybe I just don't remember being this tired because I did it everyday. Now I know why I don't work out when I am teaching.
Also funny thing today. I won Richard Marx tickets off the radio this morning. They asked for caller six. I was caller two, caller four, and caller six. Apparently, I was one of the only ones calling. So after my (long) day subbing, I drove to the radio station (a nice hour drive) only to find out that they had given away too many tickets. Fortunately, they are calling and there will be two tickets at will call for me. Crazy. Just crazy.
And I have a blind date tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

Laugh of the Day

I was so excited for my first substitute teaching job that I showed up TWO WEEKS EARLY! Hm. That could be mildly embarrassing. Except I don't really see the point in getting embarrassed.
Needless to say it was very interesting to walk into the classroom and have the teacher there preparing her lesson. Poor girl, wondering who on earth I was.
That's my 'laugh of the day!!'